Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Stupid Russia, tricks are for kids.

So apparently Russia was not content with just being able to see Sarah Palin's Alaskan home, they wanted to know more of the U.S. Federal officials have charged eleven people with being secret agents of Russia... and I thought the Cold War was over...

The FBI stated that the alleged spies supposed to become "sufficiently 'Americanized'" to gain access to the U.S. government's planning and policy apparatus. The FBI decrypted a 2009 message that was sent to 2 of the alleged spies... it went something like this.

"You were sent to USA for long-term service trip," the intercepted message read. "Your education, bank accounts, car, house etc. — all these serve one goal: fulfill your main mission, i.e., to search and develop ties in policymaking circles in U.S. and send intels [intelligence reports] to C [intelligence headquarters in Moscow]." - L.A. Times.

But what really and truly blows my mind about all of this, is that Russia seems to think it can gloss over the event merely by saying "BUT EVERYTHING ELSE HAS BEEN GOING SO WELL!" Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin stated today that he hoped that the spy scandal would not damage "improving relations" between Russia and the U.S. Really? Really? Have you been drinking the same water as Sarah Palin? What is with you people, we discover you've had spies in the country since the early 1990s and you hope it won't damage "improving relations."

The Russian ministry released a statment defending the alleged spies stating that "They [the alleged spies] have not committed any kind of actions directed against the interests of the United States." Hmmm, so we're just supposed to wait around until they do?

An FBI Agent, Amit Kachhia-Patel, said the spy operation was a "deep cover" assignment filled with "false identities, secret rendezvous, such old-school spy craft techniques" as "invisible writing" and a "cover profession" to blend into American society. - L.A. Times

And Oleg Gordievsky, a former deputy head of the KGB (who defected in 1985 and is now living in the United Kingdom) confirmed that Russia probably has around 50 undercover couples living and spying inside the U.S. He told the Associated Press today that the Russian President would know the number of illegal operatives in each target country, but wouldn't be given their names.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't think we're guilty of the same thing... I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist myself. I'm betting that our government and the CIA probably have a number of spies in Russia. Difference is, we haven't gotten caught. We're just that good. (Don't make me eat my words in a few months CIA, stay classy)

I don't know how you're going to get yourself out of this one Russia, but please try harder than "BUT EVERYTHING ELSE WAS GOING SO WELL!"


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  2. Maybe it's back to the days of the '80's movie 'Spies Like Us.' But the Russians don't want to mess with us because we have Mr. T.

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