Friday, May 28, 2010

This week in stupid lawsuits.

So although I still don't think anything trumps Lindsay Lohan's suit, I do find these two particularly amusing.

Hulk Hogan is apparently suing Post Cereal because Bam-Bam beat up a cartoon parody of him in a Fruity Pebbles commercial. His complaint, filed under his real name (Terry Bollea) no less, boasts that he is a "well recognized wrestling champion with long blond hair and a blond Fu Manchu mustache." He argues that Post Cereal used his likeness without permission and he has "been harmed by the false endorsement, including the failure to be compensated for the false endorsement and diminishment of his endorsement value by the unauthorized and degrading depiction in the COCOA SMASHDOWN advertisements."

First and foremost - props to the attorney, Joseph Bain. (his e-mail is in the complaint if you feel the need to e-mail him and congratulate him) Mr. Bain managed to
A) ensure that Fu Manchu was capitalized,
B) look Hulk Hogan in the face and take this complaint seriously
C) managed to insinuate that this commercial devalues Hulk's endorsement value, even though Hulk willingly participated in productions such as: Mr. Nanny, Santa With Muscles and Shadow Warriors 2 ... a sequel to a really bad movie no one has ever heard of. And look at that photo... I mean REALLY! Good job Mr. Bain

But all in all, I think Hulk's in it for the money. Cause frankly, I think getting his butt kicked by Bam-Bam takes his reputation UP a notch.

Also remarkably stupid this week, is the lawsuit from a stripper, a STRIPPER mind you, that a professional football player abandoned her.

Silvia Mena accuses the Washington Redskin's Albert Haynesworth of allegedly impregnating her and then abandoning her. She's asking for $10 million. First of all lady, you're a stripper, he met you at a strip club, what on God's green earth would make you think that he wanted to have a baby with you? Much less acknowledge you in public. She claims he promised to support her and take care of her and blah, blah, blah... how do women never learn that men will say just about anything as long as you take your pants off?

Second of all $10 million? How is does your standard of living merit that? How does raising a kid COST that? Granted, Haynesworth makes a lot of money, but managing to get yourself knocked up by him doesn't mean you should be able to take a windfall.

Mena’s laywer, Salvatore Strazzullo, says, “This man is worth millions. (Mena) has had to apply for Medicaid to take care of her pregnancy.” Yes sir, but this is because she is a pregnant stripper. And last I checked, not that many people were into that. Also, there's birth control AND condoms available, really this is as much her fault as his.

I say Haynesworth should go, get a paternity test and then sue for custody.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Facebook security woes...

... so due to Facebook's recent security breaches, a recent British poll posits that 1/2 of facebook users are likely to quit. I say "horse-do-do!" Facebook currently boasts over 400 million users and if it goes down to 200 million, I will eat something hat-like in nature.

The poll gave 5 options
30% are "highly likely" to quit Facebook due to privacy concerns
30% said it was "possible"
12% of respondents said that won't leave the site
12% said it's "not likely"
And 16% have already stopped using facebook.

Quite frankly, I'd love to know just WHO was polled, because if these stats didn't include high school students, then they're majorly skewed. I mean granted, all stats are skewed, but still.

The world has come too addicted to facebook to quit. Sure you might change your privacy pictures ... or take down / un-tag those photos of you upside down on a keg in a short dress (not me though, I love those photos), but I say the likelihood of quitting facebook is SLIM.

I think the pole should have had more realisitc options.
1 - I quit and I'm not going back ever, regardless of any new privacy procedures
2 - I quit till it's safer
3 - I am quitting UNLESS there are new saftey procedures enacted
4 - I'm not quitting, but I'm taking down those photos of last weekend, and that note my opinion of the CIA's usefulness to this country.
5 - I'm only likely to quit if there are more safety breaches in the future.
6 - I'm not quitting, ever, facebook is my crack... and I'm never going to rehab.

I feel like you would have gotten more honest results.

Seriously, I'm one of those people who facebook is one of my drugs. I'm out to disprove Dunbar's Number.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

What is wrong with people?

In case you haven't heard... a Malawi court today sentenced a gay couple to 14 years in jail for practicing homosexuality. 14 years! Really? REALLY? The court cites reasons such gross indecency” and “unnatural acts” under a British-colonial era law.

This blows my mind. There's also various quotes from citizens of Malawi saying that homosexuality goes against their "culture" and their "religion." Well you're religion is your own business, but I've got news for you folks, there is no wholly straight culture on the face of the earth. Homosexuality has been around since the dawn of time, and if you think your culture is free of it, it's just because you didn't notice it before.

I was pretty disgusted when a school in Mississippi told Constance McMillen that she couldn't bring her female date to the prom. And then cancelled the whole prom instead of being forced to honor her equality. And while devastating to a high school student, a prom is a small thing in the grand scope of life, and the regonition she brought the cause, not to mention the cash and job offers she got herself, seem to have worked the whole situation out in her favor.

But JAIL TIME? For merely being human? And refusing to forego love when you find it? That's disgusting! DISGUSTING! And this is not American prison. This is a hard labor camp. These gentlemen will more than likely DIE than survive a 14 year sentence. So now it's a death sentence for being gay.

Seriously third world countries, if you want to start being recognized by the rest of the world, start acting like it. Minus parts of the South of course.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What not to do in a bad economy...

So it comes to light recently, that Bristol Palin, hypocrite daughter on one-time VP candidate Sarah Palin, will be commanding $15,000 - $30,000 per speaking engagement. These prices are set by Single Source Speakers, a group that boasts Drew Brees among its speakers, but really no one else of note.

Palin's available speaking topics include: "Abstinence, Conference, Fundraiser, Pro-Life, Special Event/Holiday, Women's, Youth." ABSTINENCE? You want to pay Bristol Palin, a girl who couldn't keep it in her pants at 16 $30,000 to speak about abstinence? That amount of money is someone's ANNUAL salary! If she's such a good kid and a good Christian and the whole 9, she should take every penny she makes from these speaking events and donate it to those who need it.

I recently commented that I would rather go see Snooki, from MTV's Jersey Shore speak than Bristol Palin. Little did I know that Snooki is currently commanding $10,000 just to SHOW UP somewhere, and probably get drunk there as well. Yep, that's right folks, 10 large for just showing up and acting like Jersey trash. Awesome.

I wonder why I got a law degree. I mean really, going out and making an ass our of yourself in public seems like a much lazier and easier way of making a living. And it looks like it pays better too.

And back in 2007, at an all time high, apparently before having to take yet another stint in rehab, Lindsay Lohan was offered $350,000 to have her 21st birthday party at a nightclub. This of course was before her more recently plummet toward ridiculousness.

Come on people! Are we really shelling out this kind of money for this kind of stupidity? You don't get to complain about what a horrible state the economy is in if you keep fostering this kind of nonsense.

Boycott morons, that is all.
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