Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Getting pulled over...


A friend shared a good getting pulled over story last night, so I thought I would share, and then let share my own favorite getting pulled over story.

Trevor's story - Told first person for effect
So last night I found a liter of tequila in my trunk, and I thought "Great! I'll pick up some margarita mix on the way home and get smashed tonight." So I'm driving from here to the Price Chopper, and I see the red and blue start swirling, so I pull over. And you know how officer's usually wait a few seconds and let you sweat it out before coming up to your window? Not this guy, he troops right up, and says "Do you know how fast you were going." I of course become a blank slate of innocence and state that no, I do not know how fast I was going. The officer barks out "53 in a 35... but that's NOT why I pulled you over! Do you know WHY I pulled you over?" Again a negative from me. Officer states "I pulled you over for the use of an illegal radar detector."

I inform the office that I do not have a radar detector. He asks "Then why, just as I started shooting radar did you SLAM on your brakes." The honest answer would be "Well sir, because I was flying, and nearly missed the entrance for the store where I'm going to pick up mixers so I can go home and get wrecked." I choose instead to say "I dunno, it must have been a fluke, you can search my car if you want, I've got nothing to hide."

Now at this point, the officer decides to search my car. There's nothing in there but my kid's play toolbox, some pistachios in my glove box, and my backpack, which has my tattoo lotion (for my sleeve, which is about halfway done), some tattoo magazines and some notebooks and school books in it. Officer searches the car, comes up empty, asks to see the glove box, I comply. Says "whats that?" at the bag of pistachios, I say pistachios and hold them out for him. Asks to look in my son's toolbox, I open it up, it's got play tools in it. Then goes "Whats in the backpack?"

I, not thinking, say "Oh just some magazines and some lotion..." The cop pauses, stares at me, chooses not to search the backpack, and as I realize what he's thinking and start blurting out "No, no, not like THAT...." he gives me a look that tells me he clearly does not believe me, tells me to slow down and have a pleasant evening.

Mae's story
One Easter, I decided to spend the holiday with my cousin, who was a member of the United States Marine Corp in Athen's GA. I was travelling from Oswego, NY and suffice it to say my train was not what we like to call timely. When I arrived my cousin and some marines were less than what one would describe as sober. I got a hug and a "I hope you can drive, cause we certainly can't."

We get in the car, and I start driving toward the base, the guys continue putting away the second 30 rack, which was purchased sometime during my second train delay. On the way back there's a police stop. I can't turn around, because it's flat land, they would see me and they would chase me. I start wondering what Georgia jail is like.

Officer takes one look inside the car and asks me to step outside of it. At this point I should mention, I'm a NY licensed driver, driving a Virgina car, registered to some guy's parents whom I've never met, in the state of Georgia with passengers from various and other sundry states and a back seat full of near 60 beer cans.

I get out of the car.

Officer "Ma'am... have you been drinking?"
Me "No sir."
Officer "Ma'am... have THEY been drinking"
Me (no way I can lie here) "Oh yes sir."
Officer "Ma'am, you do know it is illegal to have an open container in a vehicle in the state of Georgia, right?"
Me (stuttering) "No sir, I just got off the train from NY, so I could spend Easter with my cousin, because he's in the marines and its our first holiday where he didn't come home, and my train was late, and they're all marines, so they were drinking, so I had to drive, and I'm just trying to get them back to the base, and I think I'm lost and I'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyy" (I think I'm near tears at this time.
Officer "You can get back in the car, ma'am. Gentlemen OUT!"

The boys pile out of the car, and my cousin, smart man that he is, goes to parade rest, so being drunken marines, do the rest of the guys. They start barking at the cop like he is a drill sergeant. Apparently this must make the cop feel good, because he lets them all pile back into the car. And he does not confiscate the beer.

Officer comes back around to my side and says "Ma'am, I've already got 3 drunk drivers and a van full of 16 Mexicans, none of whom seem to have a green card or a license, so I don't need any more paperwork tonight, so you get these boys home safe and don't let 'em drink any more tonight."

I of course, promise whatever the nice Georgia cop want to hear, thrilled I will not have to call my parents for bail on easter weekend, and drive off. Only to let the boys keep drinking once we were at the hotel.

-----------------------------------------

Anyone else have funny "I got away" stories? Love to hear them.

2 comments:

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  2. Those were pretty good stories! I'm glad to hear of anyone that can get home safely and not have to spend a night in jail over a ridiculuos or trivial matter.

    ReplyDelete

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