Tiger Woods, Sorry for all the wrong reasons

I know I'm late to the game on this, but it took me awhile to collect my thoughts. Did you know, that the little stunt that Tiger Woods called an apology two weeks ago, drew more viewers than the Winter Olympics and the war in Afghanistan COMBINED? Granted, EVERY major news station and channel shut down what they were doing to play this man's forced, scripted, crap excuse for an apology. Now, I for one, don't really think he owes the public an apology, merely his wife and his sponsors, but if you're going to do it... do it right, don't do what Tiger did ...

I happened to be at the tire place when this garbage came on, and both me and the man I was sitting and chatting with in the waiting room thought it was going to be about Joe Stack, flying his plane into the IRS building in Texas. However, nope, it was Tiger. In the words of the crazy man I was talking to "REALLY? This shit trumps wars, plane crashes and Haiti?"

However, as we soon found out that it was on every station, we settled down to watch and ridicule it. What I find most disgusting is that Tiger does not appear contrite at all. Sure, he's sorry he got caught. He's sorry he's losing MILLIONS in endorsements and publicity. But is he sorry he cheated on his wife and made the paprazzi even more eager to chase his children around? No. He's sorry he got caught. If he could go back, do I think he would change what he did? No, I think he would find a better way to hide it, so that he wouldn't get caught. I don't think he would alter his ways one stinking bit.

What I believe truly drums this point home, is that he didn't even WRITE that apology. It was clear from his amateur reading of it, that someone else penned it. Including stage directions. (Now pause, Tiger, look at the camera, attempt to well up some tears)

Also proving he's not sorry, was his refusal to take questions. Tiger, in an extremely childish move, chose the press, and informed them that there would be a statement, no questions. C'mon Tiger, even children get questioned by their parents when they sneak candy before dinner.

It was a bad call, all around. I mean, two months after being caught? You should have either apologized the next day (black eye, golf club wounds and all) or not apologized at all. With all the bimbos out there telling us you're every move, if you hadn't said anything, half of the nonsense would have been chalked up to rumor. If you had apologized the next day and THEN hid out, you could have gone the way of Elliot Spitzer, who sure, had to resign; but is now appearing on Colbert, and in other public venues, managed to keep his law license, and is raking in the cash again. And Spitzer broke the LAW, Tiger, he's guilty of soliciting, paying for sex, and breaking the Mann Act (which while ridiculous, is funny) ... you, you just cheated on your wife. Bill Clinton lied to the public, committed perjury. You, again, just cheated on your wife. I know you have more money than both of these men, how is your choice in PR guys so poor? Both these men took questions, lived their public shame, and came back up. They're both on top of the world right now, and their wives stayed with them. (And stayed docile during their apologies.)

I didn't think you owed the world an apology to begin with, but since you chose to make one, you should have done it right. Take the questions, live the shame and get over it. Don't hide behind a scripted apology. Because all it really said to the public was "please buy things with my name on it again one day"

Also funny was that Playboy model Loredana Jolie Ferriolo was upset that Tiger did not apologize to his mistresses. Really Loredana? You KNEW he was married, you KNEW he had kids, you KNEW who he was. You KNEW you were supposed to shut up about it and not talk to anyone about it from the get go. If anyone owes anyone an apology, you owe his wife one. And I agree with Elmer Smith about you... go "file a classless-action suit on behalf of all Tiger's spurned sluts" ... see if you can't grab some of the cash he's so worried about losing.