This week in stupid lawsuits.

So although I still don't think anything trumps Lindsay Lohan's suit, I do find these two particularly amusing.

Hulk Hogan is apparently suing Post Cereal because Bam-Bam beat up a cartoon parody of him in a Fruity Pebbles commercial. His complaint, filed under his real name (Terry Bollea) no less, boasts that he is a "well recognized wrestling champion with long blond hair and a blond Fu Manchu mustache." He argues that Post Cereal used his likeness without permission and he has "been harmed by the false endorsement, including the failure to be compensated for the false endorsement and diminishment of his endorsement value by the unauthorized and degrading depiction in the COCOA SMASHDOWN advertisements."

First and foremost - props to the attorney, Joseph Bain. (his e-mail is in the complaint if you feel the need to e-mail him and congratulate him) Mr. Bain managed to
A) ensure that Fu Manchu was capitalized,
B) look Hulk Hogan in the face and take this complaint seriously
C) managed to insinuate that this commercial devalues Hulk's endorsement value, even though Hulk willingly participated in productions such as: Mr. Nanny, Santa With Muscles and Shadow Warriors 2 ... a sequel to a really bad movie no one has ever heard of. And look at that photo... I mean REALLY! Good job Mr. Bain

But all in all, I think Hulk's in it for the money. Cause frankly, I think getting his butt kicked by Bam-Bam takes his reputation UP a notch.


Also remarkably stupid this week, is the lawsuit from a stripper, a STRIPPER mind you, that a professional football player abandoned her.

Silvia Mena accuses the Washington Redskin's Albert Haynesworth of allegedly impregnating her and then abandoning her. She's asking for $10 million. First of all lady, you're a stripper, he met you at a strip club, what on God's green earth would make you think that he wanted to have a baby with you? Much less acknowledge you in public. She claims he promised to support her and take care of her and blah, blah, blah... how do women never learn that men will say just about anything as long as you take your pants off?

Second of all $10 million? How is does your standard of living merit that? How does raising a kid COST that? Granted, Haynesworth makes a lot of money, but managing to get yourself knocked up by him doesn't mean you should be able to take a windfall.

Mena’s laywer, Salvatore Strazzullo, says, “This man is worth millions. (Mena) has had to apply for Medicaid to take care of her pregnancy.” Yes sir, but this is because she is a pregnant stripper. And last I checked, not that many people were into that. Also, there's birth control AND condoms available, really this is as much her fault as his.

I say Haynesworth should go, get a paternity test and then sue for custody.